proving myself.

and no one knows that she likes the way fingers feel, barely caressing the skin. not clawing, not touching. like a breath you're forever holding, hesitant but riding the ecstasy of that moment. the attention is on her, and she's reaching out trying blindly to find that hand.


I can't wait to put a face to the image, sotospeak.
Within the next 5-10 years I want to be living in Baltimore, Maryland.
I haven't visited yet, but I'm in love with the idea so far.
Right now I'm at TCC, but I don't know anymore what I want.
Photojournalism was my rock.
I figured writing and art were my strong points...
Yes, I settled in a way.
But now my insides are turning over in anxiety.

Politics. Government. Debate. Sociology. etc.
For some reason all these topics hold some sort of significance for me.
My government teacher was old and eccentric, but his lectures hit home.
My sociology teacher is also eccentric, but dominant and blunt.
I'm planning on taking public speaking and doing debate.
Just to explore. Maybe look into being some sort of activist.
I have these urges that I can't explain.

And yet.

There's still art.
Above anything, I don't want to end up at a desk job.
I want to be passionate and outgoing.
I want something I can be creative with.
I'm not sure anymore what role art will play in my career.
I can see myself painting as a leisure, but photography...

The idea of abandoning it makes me feel hollow.

So many choices to make, so much money and time to spend.
I'm not looking forward to the stress,
but definitely the adventure.


Ash and politics? Guffaw.