it's hard.

it's hard to tell myself I'm being naive.

it's hard to ignore my feelings merely because it's "too soon".

it's hard to hold myself back because I want this to be slow and special.

it's hard to not look in your eyes and feel a pain in my heart when I think about you.

a good kind of pain, a pain that has me smiling like a lame-ass.

You are so different. For the first time in ages, I'm able to be submissive.

I've been assertive for so long out of courtesy that I forgot how nice it was.

Yet here we are, and each time we're together you surprise me.

I'm a romantic at heart, someone who enjoys making people feel special.
But you say things that make me feel like only I exist.

Again, it's hard.
Things are so perfect right now that I don't want to fuck it up.
I want to be with you, but I don't want to jump into a relationship.
We only met Sunday for crying out loud. And yet.
I can't wait for that special day.
For now, we "date" and have little outings.
You say you want to know everything about me, and I promise it'll happen
Bit by bit.

I'll make everything right this time,
I just have to force myself to be patient.