playful litter

plastic bags dance like gypsies in eddies,

circling the same old cobble stones

in a native fashion.

the wind is feeling playful today.

giving the bag a full breath of air,

it is finally able to ascend into the skies

and out of its continuous routine.

trees moan and hiss,
shaking their branches in an attempt to

ensnare or intimidate.

cars screech by under them,

and the common pedestrian flails

their arms in displeasure.

an alley cat's paw reaches out curiously,

but a stray canine interjects oafishly

with a loud bark and playful dash underneath it.

persevering, the bag travels on.

streaks of sunlight glimmer

through its translucent exterior.

the bag's handles extend outward

in an attempt to embrace

the magnificance above it.

suddenly a hand reaches out,

grabbing it and chucking it into a black bin;

today is garbage day, not recycling.

the large vehicle drives off, and it begins to rain.

****

Did it make you sad at the end?

Comments, please.

gurgly tang

sometimes the gurgling in my stomach

sounds like a plate falling.

it doesn't crash and shatter,

it spirals on the way down,

echoing and whirling

in my ear drums.

with you, it's a whole new feeling.

tingling starts with a simple touch.

with my face cupped in your palm,

I feel myself melt into your skin.

I am whole with you,

and my soul reaches out

wanting to dance with yours.

the gurgling is usually a nervous reaction,

one which comes naturally when I feel cornered.

and now you have cornered me.

unstirred, your eyes lock mine into submission

daring me to take a chance.

hush now, there's no time for peer pressure.

"ignore the judgments and embrace the warmth," she whispers.
it is then that I smile for no apparent reason,
caught up in this moment where I feel wanted.
I have a life to live, but she is asking to be a part of it.
(who am I to deny her?)

there's no looking back now.

///inspired to write this after Tasha left today.

We've been talking more in terms of the future lately...

And it makes me feel a combination of nervousness and excitement.

There is no doubt in my mind: I love her. I'm in love with her.

I feel like she is my "soul mate" if such things truly exist.

I also brought up today that I want to adopt an Asian daughter.

I've hesitated 'til now because I wasn't sure how she would react.

As I've said before, I've wanted this since middle school.

But she doesn't mind the idea.

She's a little closed-minded about my style of name-choosing,

But I'm willing to negotiate and work things out with her.

Maybe. When and if we make it that far.

Which I really hope happens.

Anyway, just felt inspired and gushy.

i fancy fall.

whenever a leaf falls directly in front of me
or otherwise just commands my attention,
I feel the earth stand still for a moment
as my eyes lock onto its texture.

there is an extreme amount of intimacy
in that moment. just the leaf & I.
I feel like if there is a God,
(s)he's the one that dropped the leaf.
(s)he decided to share a moment with me
...and I enjoy his/her sense of humor.

how playful, how simple.

after this happens I smile for a good while.
more so, I believe that it will be a good day.

this reminds me of a quote from the book The Color Purple.
basically one of the characters describes God as an "it".
she believes God is everywhere and everything,
and appreciates when you take time to admire the little things.
I, for one, am not afraid to embrace that inner child
who smiles easily.

that's what I like about fall: change in the air.
embrace life in the moment,
and carpe diem your ass off.

I've got a cure

and the solution is me.
only me.

I'm hers, she's mine.
No more hesitation or doubt.

At last, I'm happy.
The end.

hollow but hopeful.

there must be a reason.

a normal person would give in to raw emotions.
the average girl would cry on a whim and react.
and any teenager would rather choose the selfish way out.
but I have to be the understanding one. the empathizer.

I don't understand.

I know myself. I know how I would normally react.

Yet somehow my rage is caged, allowing my mind to be open and my eyes to see.

I genuinely want her to be happy. I'm giving her space to figure things out.

But why is it even worth thinking about to her?

That's the part of me that is crying out, clutching the key to that cage eagerly.

I want to scream.

I want to cry my eyes out (in private).

I want, most of all, for her to see things the way I do.

It's so fucking hard, but I'm not running.

I'm supporting her despite the fact that I have the right to feel wronged.

Not up for discussion.

Just a vent.

at ease.

"as long as I'm happy

I think I'll be okay."

that was the answer I was looking for.

my insides are bubbling up,

I feel like I can't breathe.

I'm reaching out for a grip,

but I wouldn't mind falling into your arms.

I love you.